


jamais vu

by tawnyPort



Series: HSWC 2013 [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Homestuck Shipping World Cup, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 14:40:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tawnyPort/pseuds/tawnyPort
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He changes before your eyes. Or perhaps before your glasses. He asks you to take your glasses off a few times, in the late watches when neither of you are willing to admit exactly what time it is in your respective time zones even though you know what time it is in each of your friends' time zones at any given moment. You refuse every time.</p><p>You tell him a lot of your secrets but not all of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	jamais vu

**Author's Note:**

> For [HSWC Bonus Round 1](http://hs-worldcup.dreamwidth.org/3493.html?thread=229541#cmt229541): "The play is memory. Being a memory play, it is dimly lighted, it is sentimental, it is not realistic." - Tennessee Williams, _The Glass Menagerie_

You remember the first time you ever saw him, a grainy low resolution video chat filled with skips and pauses thanks to the laggy connection from Hellmurder Island to the rest of the world. Thick black hair that you think is far too well styled for someone who lives by himself until you remember that Jake English is the hero of his own action movie and as such must look the part even if no one but his poster girls can see him. Cheekbones highlighted pink with sun and the embarrassment of being seen live for the first time in years. Above those, glasses in thick black frames. Behind the glasses, thick black lashes and sharp eyes that were quick with a wink even then.

You talked him through boosting the signal, reveling privately in his praise while maintaining your flawlessly chill and ironic exterior. You could imagine no better defense against the sudden rush of, "Oh no, he's hot."

You remember the first time you ever saw him when he didn't know you were watching. Of course he knew the Brobot was equipped with cameras but apart from the times it sought him out to strife with him, he didn't live his life like someone who was aware that cameras might be on him at any minute. The Brobot was designed for stealth pursuit, however, and it was in these times that you liked to turn on the remote transmitter, both to get a glimpse of the place he called home and to get a glimpse of Jake with his guard utterly down. In this way you watch him grow up and fall in love with him.

You notice the first appearance of stubble on his upper lip. You observe the way his shoulders broaden and his chin begins to square. You comment on his home grown hair maintenance techniques, eventually getting to a point where he cuts his hair on camera as you talk him through the back and sides; you didn't mention the bald patch but apparently Roxy couldn't help herself. His smile matures as you share more and more conversations and jokes and secrets. You tell him a lot of your secrets but not all of them, though you suspect he does in fact tell you all of his.

He changes before your eyes. Or perhaps before your glasses. He asks you to take your glasses off a few times, in the late watches when neither of you are willing to admit exactly what time it is in your respective time zones even though you know what time it is in each of your friends' time zones at any given moment. You refuse every time.

You tell him a lot of your secrets but not all of them.

Watching him strife goes from an exercise in different ways to wince to a voyeuristic reality viewing experience devoted to the rhythm of his breathing and the sunlight catching on the sweat on his neck. His muscle definition increases, his cardiac strength improves, he's becoming a paragon of adolescent health... if you do say so yourself.

Which you do, but only to yourself. To his face you tell him he'll never best the Brobot, that it learns as it hunts, and make sure he's always seeking ways to get better. Ways to keep surviving.

You remember the first time you saw him in person, kissing your severed head in front of a volcano as the game collapsed your universe.

He was shorter than you expected.

Reality was the beginning of the end.


End file.
